We all start somewhere. Maybe you started where I did-- scared, alone but for a few loyal friends, still loving the person you need to get away from, not sure you will survive the next step, knowing you won't survive if you don't take the next step. Maybe you started somewhere else-- life was okay, but something was missing, so you kept adding more projects, more purchases, more plans-- hoping you'd find that THING that would make you content with what you are and what you have. Maybe you started somewhere else entirely.
The thing is-- you've started. That first step toward health is often the most difficult one. Starting toward health and away from the familiar is scary. Sometimes we've actually been moving in the right direction for a while when that hardest step comes, and we bog down, lose direction, lose self-confidence, because we thought the tough stuff was over... So here you are, starting again, feeling a desire for hope-- maybe even feeling hope.
Be hopeful. Your life has started, and wherever you are, you can always move forward from there. But be aware-- it is a choice. You choose your path. And that, my friend, is the most powerful piece of advice I will ever give. Even when the choices are horrible, there are choices to be made. You choose your path. The next most important piece of advice I will ever give you is this:
You cannot choose the outcome of your decision. You can have clear intentions, you can have clear goals. You might be a world-class manipulator... unhealthy and dishonest as that route may be for your own development... (and sometimes, we live that life to survive until we figure out how to choose something better) But the fact remains-- you don't control the outcome. Just the effort and the intention.
When you start putting your energy into the effort and into the intention, and stop wasting energy on trying to MAKE him react like THIS, or make your boss do that, or make your friend feel like this because of what she said... you will become productive. That is a huge step toward living a better life, and having more energy to spend on feeling hope for your future. Huge.
Have hope. Make the effort. Take responsibility for yourself.
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