We women often have a hard time speaking up for ourselves until driven to the point of mindless rage. We don't make a fuss if someone elderly cuts us off in the checkout line, we don't demand that the store honor a coupon the day after it expires. We don't tell that mean boy in 5th period (or his annoying father in the next cubicle over) to stop making jokes about our bodily functions, or small bladders or comfortable shoes. We don't fight back. We don't talk back. We don't watch each other's backs.
I recently gave myself permission to defend myself. I used affirmations. It's a way of stating what we deeply want to be true of ourselves as if it is already true. "I can defend myself." "I keep a clean and tidy home." "I take time out every day for my mental and physical health." Whatever it is that resonates most with how you want to be in the world. Take that one statement (or in my case, those 21 statements), and make them into positive and simple sentences. Say it to yourself. The more you hear it, the more you think it could be true, and the more likely you are to make it happen for yourself. Affirmations.
Of course, the reverse is also effective. If we go around saying "I can't...." or "I'll never...." well, say it often enough and it's probably going to come true. You'll probably start believing yourself. So why not take that personal power, and use it to effect a positive change? Why not treat yourself as if you deserve respectful treatment in every situation you encounter. After all, it's true.
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