I Do It Better Myself

I've heard this quote over and over in the past few years--
"If it is to be, it is up to me."
No idea where the quote came from, but I finally had a good long sit-down conversation with myself about what exactly that means, and how I apply it to my life. I came to a few conclusions, too.

Looking back at my life, there are so many times when I've taken on a big project-- something important to my plans for the future or to my family or my job... And even though I had the skills, the time, the need to succeed-- I haven't really. I've waited until the last minute and done a half-gassed job, or I've waited for the right time to pursue my goal and it never came, or I've decided the project was dumb and a waste of my time even though it was a requirement for my job. Whatever the excuse, what it comes down to is that I've been waiting for someone to come save me from my problems.

Prince Charming would ride up in his practical Honda Accord, and give me an extension on my final paper, or a gift of money to pay off my credit card, or maybe one of my coworkers would stop by and give me some tough love about getting that project DONE... maybe my husband or my wife would do those dishes since my feet hurt or my boss was grumpy or... Maybe someone else would just finally come and take responsibility for fixing my life.

I realized that I've been living with the Cinderella Complex (if this is a real thing, and not a name I just came up with, my apologies) for a very long time. And it is time to stop waiting for someone else to come along and make everything better. And I realized that I am responsible for my own success.

I take care of me, and I do it better than anyone else can or should. Because I know what I need and who I am better than anyone else. My success story and my happy ending are within me. I keep my own budget. I wash my own dishes. I manage my own health. I do my own work. If it is to be, it is up to me.

So then I took that one step further, and made it personal. I formed a new picture and a new plan for living out my happy ending, and I based that plan around the idea of balance. Somehow, balance is easier to want to work toward than "personal responsibility." So I looked at different books about symbols that relate to balance. I noticed feng shui. A whole cultural movement based around balance and nature. And I noticed that a lot of balance can be found in nature. That animals and plants must find their own nutrients and sustenance if they want to survive-- if they want to prosper. I want to prosper.

Many different cultures use four or five main natural elements to discuss balance, and since that resonated with me, I used it. If you need to re-imagine your happy ending, make a picture of balance that resonates with you. Here is the story I finally constructed, the new image of my life and my choices that I carry in my head for reference:

I am an unending stream. I take my shape from the earth that supports me and the rocks in my path that cannot stop my progress. I use the sun to clear my waters for action and the fires of courage to light my way and protect MY best interests. The air brings fresh energy and oxygen to my waters so the ideas I have planted within can grow, can spawn. I am my own best advocate, best friend, best judge. I am my own self-- and no one else can or should direct me on the path I know to take.

Who can rescue the water? Who can contain it, direct it or inspire it to change its course? No. I am the water, and I make my own path. Ever moving, ever changing. Ever inspiring, ever beautiful. I do it better myself. It is time to recognize that I know what I need to do-- and that no one else can do it for me. If it is to be, it is up to me.